


Stupidly Awkward

by downtowndystopia



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Blowjobs, First Time, Innocence, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Inexperience, innocent!makoto, makoto doesn't have a gag reflex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:12:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtowndystopia/pseuds/downtowndystopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoharu have a perfectly imperfect first time together, lots of communication, sex, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupidly Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos/comment! It makes me want to write more, also this is sort of a prequel to my fic "the morning after" so if you want to read that, feel free.

It’s so stupid, Makoto knows. Haru and him have been dating for years now, they’ve practically been together since they met, and despite this Makoto is struggling. And awkward. And nervous. And stupid, so stupid.

He wants this, he wants to be closer to Haru, he wants to experience everything a normal couple experiences. But he is scared, and awkward, and nervous, and is currently trying to turn down Haru (why is he doing that?—oh yeah, because he’s stupid, of course) who is now frowning with the rejection and pulling away from him.

“Haru, wait—“ Makoto tries to grab after Haru but it doesn’t work, and he keeps walking away. “Haru, come on, we’re just kids—“

“We are eighteen, Makoto,” Haru replies. “We have been together since I can remember and I figured you were too shy to make the first move, but obviously you just don’t see me that way,” Haru replies, trying to keep his voice even.

“Of course I see you that way,” Makoto assures, raising his hands in front of him in a calming gesture. It has no effect on Haru.

“Are you even—are you even gay? What has this been to you?” Haru asks loudly, as close to a yell as he can get.

“I don’t know what I am,” Makoto says quietly. “But I love you, I’ve always loved you,” he says. Haru tries to interrupt. “No, let me speak,” Makoto says firmly. “I love you, and I want you in those ways, I do. But…I’m scared. And it’s easier to just not do it than to bring our relationship to that level because what if it’s terrible? What if you hate it? What if I’m so bad at it that you laugh or worse if I h-hurt you—“

“Makoto,” Haru interrupts, touching Makoto’s chest.

“What?” Makoto asks meekly.

“It’s okay to be scared, everyone thinks you can read my mind but I know that’s not true, so I’d tell you if I disliked something or whatever, okay? You don’t have to take all the responsibility here.”

“I know,” Makoto says. “So we can do it, just not today, okay?” Makoto’s voice goes up half an octave and that has Haru’s curiosity peaked.

“…What aren’t you telling me?” Haru demands.

“What? I have no clue what you’re taking about, Haru,” Makoto assures, despite his face going beet-red.

“No you’re definitely not telling me something,” Haru says. “Out with it. Now.”

“…” Makoto hesitates until a look from Haru has him confessing. “I have no clue what I’m doing, okay?”

“Neither do I Makoto, I’m a virgin too—“

“No, I mean I have literally zero clue what I’m doing,” Makoto tries to explain. “Ren and Ran use my computer and I don’t trust private browsing so I just…I can’t really look things up online, can I? And it’s not like they teach us stuff like this in school so I really don’t have a clue and that’s really embarrassing and now you’re laughing, great,” Makoto hmphs in exasperation. “A little sympathy would be nice here, Haru.”

“I’m sorry,” Haru says between laughs. “Just…that’s why? Seriously? Like what are we dealing with when you say you have no clue?”

“You are the worst,” Makoto comments, pausing until he realizes that Haru wants an answer from him. “Oh god, really?” Haru nods. “Fine, I know…I know about masturbation, obviously, and I know that guys like it when girls…um…” he pauses. “You know what I mean right?”

“Nope,” Haru says, enjoying this way too thoroughly.

“I hate you,” Makoto points out. “I know that people can use their mouths on each other, but that sounds painful and dangerous with the teeth and all so I have no clue how it’s…how it would feel…um…good I just don’t get that I guess.”

“I could show you?” Haru suggests with a smirk, and Makoto feels all the blood in his both rush respectively to his face and his cock.

“Haru!” Makoto admonishes.

“I’m being serious,” Haru says. “I could show you, and if you want you could do it to me? Or you could just use your hand. Or not do that either, I don’t know what your comfort level is, to be honest,” Haru says awkwardly, for the first time since they’ve started this conversation.

“I want to do everything with Haru-chan,” Makoto says seriously.

“Mako, I love you but I don’t think you even know what ‘everything’ is,” Haru laughs.

“Well it’s not like either of us has a vagina,” Makoto says. “Not that I’d want you to. Have one, that is,” he stammers awkwardly.

“Riiiight,” Haru says, bewildered that Makoto really hasn’t put two and two together yet. Did he seriously not know? Should he tell him before or after they have (what Makoto thinks is) sex?

“I’m missing out on something aren’t I,” Makoto says.

“It’s no big deal,” Haru brushes aside. “You don’t have a private laptop like I do so I guess I’ve discovered more stuff. Plus having sleepovers with Nagisa definitely enlightened me recently,” Haru laughs lightly.

“You two had sleepovers without me?” Makoto pouts.

“As if he ever gave me enough notice to invite you,” Haru points out.

“True,” Makoto says. “So, um, what am I missing out on?”

“I’m not sure if you want to know right now, why don’t we just try using our mouths or hands or something? I have a good idea of how to give a blowjob, theoretically at least.”

“You sound like Rei,” Makoto says.

“Ew, don’t say that when I’m about to blow you,” Haru says, affronted. Makoto blushes deeply and tries to subtly bring a pillow to his crotch to hide his hardness. Haru interrupts him however, holding Makoto’s hand instead.

“Haru?” Makoto says weakly.

“Just…relax, and try not to think too much about it,” Haru says, kissing him deeply. Makoto responds eagerly, letting Haru take the lead (which is rare with them). Haru leads Makoto into a lying down position on his bed, crawling on top of his boyfriend, never breaking the kiss. He nervously brings his hand down to cup Makoto’s cock, and feels the incredibly large, hard, cock through his boyfriend’s jeans. Makoto’s breath hitches and Haru drools, just a bit (although he’d never tell Makoto that). “Fuck, I am so gay,” Haru says.

“Me too,” Makoto squeaks as Haru rubs his hand against Makoto’s length.

“I’m going to undo your pants now, okay?” After receiving a nod from his boyfriend, Haru unbuttons and unzips Makoto’s pants. Makoto’s cock is even more prominent under the cotton of his black boxers. Haru breathes quickly, nervous and excited, he pulls Makoto’s cock out from his boxers. “Holy shit,” Haru says, eyes widening at the sight of Makoto’s huge cock. “That’s going to be a problem later,” Haru says under his breath.

“What?” Makoto pants.

“Nothing,” Haru assures, grabbing Makoto’s length and stroking it from base to tip. Makoto keens, back arching, and it is so fucking hot Haru can barely stand it. Haru gives Makoto one last gentle kiss before moving down towards his cock.

Even though Haru has seen this in porn probably a thousand times, and has even tried practicing on a cucumber once or twice, the real thing is daunting, to say the least. It doesn’t help that Makoto is easily as long as the men he sees in porn (which are supposed to be unreasonably big, the internet assured. Is he just small?) and just as thick. He tries to psych himself up in the little time period he has before Makoto starts wondering what is wrong. Before he can reach that point he decides he just has to go for it. He’s supposed to be the one who knows what they’re doing right? He can do this.

“Hngg,” Makoto moans, and it would be hot, it really would, if it weren’t for the fact that Makoto had thrusted up so hard into his mouth that he genuinely almost puked. Haru pulls off, coughing and eyes watering.

“Oh gosh, Haru, what happened?” Makoto sits up, petting Haru’s hair as he coughs.

“Too much too fast,” Haru says. “Just—don’t thrust up okay?”

“Like hell I’m letting you do that again!” Makoto says. “Your face is all red and you’re crying I knew you were going to get hurt!”

“I’m not hurt, Makoto,” Haru says exasperatedly. “Just don’t thrust up and I’ll be fine. It felt good right? Until you choked me at least.”

“…Yes it felt good,” Makoto says. “I can see why guys talk about this so often.”

“Okay,” Haru say. “So let me continue, just do not thrust into my mouth, okay?” Haru says.

“Okay,” Makoto agrees.

Haru goes down again, but Makoto has gone mostly soft from worrying about Haru and so he starts stroking Makoto’s cock, fastening his pace until Makoto is hard again, gasping in pleasure. Haru feels a surge of confidence and goes down again to Makoto’s cock. This time he starts by licking the slit, hearing Makoto’s breath hitch. In seeing that Makoto’s hips haven’t moved an inch, he starts to suck on the tip.

“Oh—oh god Haru, oh—“ Makoto’s arms flail, not knowing what to do with the warm heat encasing the most sensitive part of his cock. When Haru looks up to see Makoto’s arms flailing he pulls off. “Wha--?” Haru takes Makoto’s hands in his and puts them in his hair, waiting for Makoto to get the picture, when he does Haru returns to his ministrations.

Soon, Haru is getting bored by just rolling his tongue around the tip of Makoto’s cock, and he decides to try to go for more, putting his right hand at the base of Makoto’s cock to both keep it still as he goes deeper and to also take care of the (very large) portion of Makoto’s cock that he can’t reach with his mouth. Makoto’s fingers pull at Haru’s hair and Haru is surprised to find out how pleasurable it is, he doubles his efforts, sucking on each bob going up, and twinging both his head and hand in different directions to heighten Makoto’s pleasure. All he knows is what he’s seen in porn and in forums online, but from Makoto’s reaction, he is sure he is doing a good job.

“Haru, oh fuck H-Haru pull off, I need—“ Makoto moans, and Haru can guess what he’s trying to say, yet he doesn’t stop. This is the endgame of it all, and there’s no way he’s missing out. “Seriously Haru, I’m going to—oh fuck I can’t hold back any-oh god—“ Makoto’s words break off into a moan as he starts coming in thick ribbons, shooting into Haru’s mouth. Haru is not prepared for the taste at all and kind of feels like gagging but keeps going because he knows Makoto is enjoying himself.

He waits until he is sure Makoto is done and oversensitive before he pulls off and swallows, trying to keep it down. He doesn’t want Makoto to feel self-conscious, it’s not his fault he doesn’t like the taste of come.

“Haru! You didn’t need to swallow it, oh my god,” Makoto squeaks in his post-orgasmic haze.

“It wasn’t sexy?” Haru frowns.

“Not really,” Makoto says, and Haru looks affronted. “I mean everything you do is sexy,” Makoto assures. “But I can’t imagine it tastes good so…”

“It’s fine,” Haru says. “I’ve tasted my own, everyone’s tastes like that.”

“Like what?” Makoto asks.

“Um...” Haru fumbles. He doesn’t know how to explain so he leans up and kisses Makoto instead, sliding his tongue against Makoto’s only for a second because Makoto pulls away in disgust.

“Ew, Haru you swallowed that?” Makoto asks.

“It’s not a big deal,” Haru says. “Some people like the taste of it, even.”

“Do you?” Makoto asks critically.

“No, not really,” Haru admits. “But it’s okay because I love you.”

“Do you expect me to swallow yours?”

“What? No! Of course not,” Haru assures.

“Then why should I expect you to swallow mine? Just…I don’t know, spit it out next time, or just use your hands when I’m coming.”

“I liked feeling you...come into my mouth,” Haru blushes profusely. “I just didn’t like the taste, but I’ll get used to it, I’m sure.

“Haru I can’t enjoy something if you’re not enjoying it too,” Makoto says.

“Fine, I’ll spit it out next time,” Haru says. “Anyways, was it okay?” Haru asks nervously.

“It was more than okay,” Makoto says. “That was by far the best orgasm of my life.”

“That’s good,” Haru says, relieved. He decides to not mention his own hardness, for Makoto’s sake. If Makoto isn’t comfortable he won’t force him to do anything.

“Oh! Haru, you haven’t come yet,” Makoto says.

“It’s fine,” Haru says, not wanting to pressure Makoto into doing anything. Out of the two of them, Haru is definitely the more gay one, he enjoys touching and using his mouth on Makoto’s cock. The thought of it turns him on, but he knows Makoto also looks at girls, not that he’d ever cheat, but he knows that Makoto isn’t as comfortable with sex with men as Haru is. Even if that man is Haru, the man Makoto’s been dating for about five years now.

“No, Haru, it’s not. I want to use my mouth on you too,” Makoto frowns. “You’ll let me, won’t you?”

“You can do whatever you want,” Haru mutters, looking away from Makoto.

“Are you sure? You’re not even hard anymore,” Makoto points out.

“That’s because of this conversation,” Haru says.

“Oh,” Makoto frowns. “Then, let me put my mouth to a better use,” he says, and although Haru knows that Makoto has no clue he sounds like he’s come out of a porn, Haru groans with arousal.

“Ah-ah, Makoto, just be careful,” Haru says, trying to keep calm as Makoto lowers his mouth onto Haru’s cock. “Don’t take too much all at once—ohfuckingchristshit,” he curses as Makoto takes all of him into his mouth. Although he is definitely very turned on at first, he’s then upset. How can Makoto take all of him into his mouth? He is six inches erect (yes he measured, so does everyone shut up) and he knows that is above average by a whole inch so why is Makoto able to take all of him like it’s nothing?

“How are you doing that?” Haru demands, pulling Makoto’s mouth off his cock.

“Doing what?” Makoto asks, embarrassed. “Did you not like it?”

“You were able to fit my entire—you know—down your throat? Without gagging?” Haru points out.

“Oh,” Makoto blushes. “I guess I don’t have a gag reflex?” He says. “Do you want me to not go so far down?”

“No, it felt, it felt amazing but are you sure you’re okay?”

“As long as I come up for air I’m fine,” Makoto assures him.

“And it’s not terrible?” Haru asks.

“Aren’t I the one who should be asking that?” Makoto quips. Haru hums in acknowledgement. “So can I continue?”

“If you’re sure,” Haru says. Instead of responding Makoto swallows around his cock and starts bobbing up and down, taking Haru’s right hand in his left, needing the connection. Haru is much quieter than Makoto, making soft whimpers and sighs, but to Makoto nothing could be sexier.

He tries to double his efforts despite his neck and jaw getting sore and soon he can feel Haru’s hips thrusting gently into his mouth, despite the odd feeling of his breath being cut off every time Haru goes to the hilt it’s quite an erotic experience so Makoto tries to meet each of Haru’s thrusts as the quicken each time.

Makoto can feel when Haru is close to coming, his hand grips Makoto’s like a vice and the hand that is currently resting on Haru’s lower stomach feels the muscles tensing up in a way he’s never thought would be sexy.

“Makoto I’m—pull off and finish with your hand,” Haru says, much too coherently for Makoto’s liking. To remedy Haru’s coherency, he takes a deep breath and sinks down to the hilt, not allowing Haru any reprieve as his entire cock is encased in Makoto’s mouth and throat.

Haru tries to pull away, embarrassed at how little control he has left, but Makoto remains firm, only pulling off shallowly to bob his head, allowing Haru’s tip to be encased in the back of Makoto’s throat. “M-Makoto seriously I’m coming, I’m c-coming,” he keens and his back arches completely off the bed and Makoto vaguely feels spurts of Haru’s come shooting down his throat. Makoto doesn’t stop until Haru gasps in over sensitivity, only then does he gently pull off Haru’s softening cock.

They lay in silence for a good couple minutes after, panting in exhaustion. Makoto lays beside Haru on the small bed, gathering him up into his arms. “So, good?” he asks feebly.

“Better than good,” Haru responds, smiling up at Makoto. “That was amazing, holy shit.” Makoto blushes and just nuzzles himself into the crook of Haru’s neck.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Makoto says.

“You liked it too, right?” Haru asks, turning towards Makoto. “I mean I understand if you didn’t like using your mouth on me but you liked it when I—“

“I liked every part of it,” Makoto assures. “Especially when I got to use my mouth on you, feeling you have an orgasm underneath me was so, so hot. And I didn’t even taste anything!”

Haru blushes profusely at that, tucking his head into Makoto’s chest. “Don’t say things like that,” Haru pouts. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing, it’s us,” Makoto smiles, tilting Haru’s chin up so they can kiss. They get lost in the kiss for a while before Makoto pulls away, frowning. “Wasn’t there something else you said two men can do? Other than use their mouths or hands?”

Haru’s eyes widen, he does not want to have that conversation with Makoto right now. “Don’t worry about it, just…I don’t know, google it when you get home.”

“Haru you know I can’t do that,” Makoto whines. “Come on, I just had your cock in my mouth, I swallowed your come, I think I can handle whatever it is.”

“Lots of couples don’t even do it, though. Aren’t you happy with what we did?”

“Of course I am, but if there’s another way to be close to you, I want to at least know it. Especially if it’s something you want to do!”

“It’s something I might want to try,” Haru says. “But, I don’t even know if people actually like it or if they’re lying,” Haru admits.

“Okay, so tell me,” Makoto presses on.

“Fine,” Haru relents. “It’s…okay so I guess the best way to describe it is…um well what we just did, using our mouths, is called oral right?”

“…Right?” Makoto says, not knowing that that was a name for it.

“So another thing men do together is…um…anal.”

“What?” Makoto squeaks.

“Do I really have to explain it?” Haru groans. “Or can I just let you use your imagination.”

“So a guy puts his—“

“Yes.”

“Inside another guy’s—“

“Yes,” Haru says, incredibly embarrassed.

“Isn’t it painful?”

“Probably?”

“And um, unclean?”

“Not if it’s done right, apparently.”

“Can a dick even fit into—“

“Enough! Makoto, oh my god, if you want to know more you can use my laptop and google it but I’m done,” Haru says. “I told you it wasn’t important,” he mutters.

“Okay I have one last question though,” Makoto says. “Then I’ll leave you alone about it and we can just cuddle or whatever, okay?”

“Fine,” Haru sighs.

“I can understand how it could maybe feel good for the person who…um…puts it in? But how does it feel for the other person?”

“According to what I’ve read it can be painful at first, but for guys at least, there’s the um…the prostate. Inside the guy. Which I guess feels good when stimulated? And the tissue around the um…entrance or whatever it sensitive too.”

“Oh,” Makoto says. “So when you thought about doing it were you the one putting it in or having it put in?”

“Makoto!” Haru squeaks. “You promised no more questions,” he blushes.

“I’m sorry Haru,” Makoto says honestly. “I’d just rather hear it from you since I trust you and everything.”

Haru groaned once again. Makoto was playing dirty, guilting him with the “trust” card. “I guess eventually I’d like to try both but when I think about it in the near future I’d want to be the one taking it.”

“Even though it’s painful?” Makoto asks.

“If you use a lot of lube and start with fingers instead of just putting it in, I’ve heard it feels good.”

“Oh, have you tried to on yourself?” Makoto asks.

“Makoto,” Haru begs, wishing for nothing more than for this conversation to end.

“I just want to know,” Makoto defends.

“No, I haven’t. But I’ve thought about you doing it to me when I…when I’m alone.”

“Oh, _oh,_ okay.”

“Okay?” Haru asks.

“So this is a real thing you’ve thought about, then?” Makoto asks.

“Yeah, but I don’t expect you to want to do that with me, and you’re a lot bigger than I thought you’d be so I don’t even know how you’d fit—“ Haru sees a visible reaction from Makoto at that last sentence. Not an uncomfortable reaction either. He smirks. “So you’re not as opposed to the idea as I thought?” Haru looks up at Makoto with lust.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Makoto squeaks, trying to maintain a cool demeanor.

“Makoto, are you getting hard again?” Haru asks, trying not to blush at the rash statement.

“Well what do you expect?” Makoto blurts out. “All of this talk about you fantasizing about me using my fingers on you whilst you get yourself off, and—and the idea of me being inside you turning you on and thinking about how it would feel—it’s….it’s a lot okay?”

“Do you want to?” Haru asks. “We’re teenagers, it’s normal to want to go at it more than once, you know.”

“Haru!” Makoto admonishes.

“Well, do you?” Haru asks again.

“I…wouldn’t be opposed to trying?” Makoto says.

“Oh, okay then,” Haru says. “I um…I don’t have any condoms,” he admits.

“Well it’s not like either of us can get pregnant,” Makoto points out.

“True,” Haru says. “It just helps with cleanup, I guess.”

“Oh,” Makoto says, clueing in. “Um…I don’t mind if you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind, I can always wash the sheets after,” he says.

“Okay, so do you have lube?” Haru blushes. “It’s kind of important from what you said,” Makoto reminds.

“Yes, I um, I have lube,” Haru says quietly, reaching in his side drawer. Before Makoto can get a glance of what else is in there, however, Haru has produced a partially used clear bottle of liquid.

“So what do I do?” Makoto asks, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Oh god you really are clueless, maybe we should wait?” Haru says. “You can watch some porn or…I don’t know read a yaoi manga.”

“I don’t want to read a yaoi manga I want to have sex with you,” Makoto says firmly.

“Okay, okay,” Haru relents. “Let’s get undressed fully first?” They’re still in their boxers so the first order of business is getting those off. They both take their boxers off at the same time, and once they’re completely stark naked, Makoto gives him a look that says ‘okay, so what next?’.

“Next you need to put the lube on your fingers, use quite a bit because it’s totally dry without it, okay?” Makoto nods, pouring way too much lube onto his hand, dripping it onto Haru’s sheets. “Okay that was a bit too much but better safe than sorry.”

“Sorry,” Makoto apologizes nevertheless.

“It’s okay,” Haru smirks. “So next you need to insert a finger slowly into me, and when I tell you, you can insert another.”

“Um Haru?”

“What now, Makoto?”

“You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, I can’t really…access that part of you right now,” Makoto points out.

“Oh. Right.” Haru lies down on the bed, feeling as awkward as can be. It’s not as if they’ve never seen each other naked, this is stupid.

“Haru?” Makoto says quietly.

“Yes?”

“You need to spread your legs,” he points out.

“Right.” Haru says again, blushing. Slowly he spreads his legs. It’s definitely not enough though so Makoto takes it into his own hands (literally) and places both hands (including the lube-covered one to Haru’s disgust) and forces Haru’s legs wider so that he can do what both of them have agreed to do tonight.

“Sorry, I just thought it would be easier to just do it for you,” Makoto explains.

“You got lube on my knee,” Haru whines.

“You liked it,” Makoto says, looking at Haru’s cock, now slowly hardening.

“Just get on with it,” Haru says in lieu of a response. Makoto nods, he places his middle finger to the ring of muscle and pushes in, meeting immediate resistence.

“Um, Haru?” Makoto asks.

“Yes?” Haru says through gritted teeth.

“It’s kind of…or rather it’s really, very tight.”

“I’m aware of that,” he says, voice straining.

“Do I keep going?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Okay,” Makoto says, pushing his finger farther into Haru’s warm heat. It’s so tight, just his finger is being grasped in a death grip he can’t imagine fitting his entire cock into Haru at this point. “Do I do anything after I’ve gotten my finger inside you?”

“Pump it in an out, slowly, and um…try to press towards my stomach?”

“Okay,” Makoto says, determined to make Haru feels less uncomfortable. He definitely doesn’t seem to be in pain, but he doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself either. Maybe this was a bad idea. He starts pumping his finger in and out of Haru, making sure to search for his prostate, which is apparently his only chance at making this feel even mildly good for Haru. Just as he’s about to give up, Makoto feels Haru gasp and tighten against him.

“Put another finger in, but keep both of them where they are,” Haru says. “I think with two fingers it will feel stronger— _ohfuck”_ Haru is cut off by Makoto sliding in a second finger and pressing both of them up against Haru’s prostate. “Keep pumping and pressing at that spot, fuck,” Haru pants. Makoto has never heard Haru swear this much in his entire life, he takes it as a good sign. “Three—put in three right now fuck,” Haru pants, and although Haru’s trying to mask it as entirely pleasurable, Makoto can tell by the pinched expression on his lover’s face that Haru is experiencing some pain as well. Despite knowing that Haru is in pain, Makoto knows that Haru is feeling good too, so he starts pumping Haru’s cock with his left hand, clumsily, whilst pressing a third finger into Haru.

“Ahhhhh,” Haru hisses in both pleasure and pain, both trying to escape the feeling of Makoto’s thick fingers inside him and embrace the feeling of Makoto’s hand on his heavily neglected cock.

“Does it hurt?” Makoto asks dumbly, stilling his fingers so Haru can get used to them.

“Fuck, your fingers are so thick,” Haru says instead. “Y-yes it hurts,” Haru admits. “But don’t stop, it doesn’t just hurt it also feels…really good,” Haru admits.

“Haru if this hurts, I’m much bigger than three fingers,” Makoto points out.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Haru snaps. “It’s okay, though. It’ll be okay. I just have to get used to this first.”

Reluctantly, Makoto starts pumping his fingers in and out of Haru, making sure to press up into his prostate to distract from the stretch. It takes longer than Makoto would have liked, but eventually, just as his hand is starting to go numb, Haru loosens up enough for Makoto to move this three fingers freely inside his boyfriend.

“Haru, um are you—are you ready for? I mean, um, can I?” Makoto stammers.

“Use a lot of lube, make sure it’s dripping with lube,” Haru says seriously. “And don’t—don’t go too quickly. And please, be gentle.”

“Ah, Haru-chan,” Makoto says. “You know I would never be anything but with you,” he says lovingly, pouring lube onto his already hard cock. “I’ll go so slow and be so gentle I’ll set a world record for slow and gentleness,” he swears, pulling out his fingers from Haru.

“World record, huh?” Haru chuckles softly, a side only Makoto gets to see from him. Haru can’t say much more, however, because Makoto is lining up his cock with Haru’s hole.

“I’m going to go in now, slowly, I promise,” Makoto swears. Slowly, as promised, the pressure against Haru’s hole builds until there’s a distinct pop and Makoto’s head is in. Before he can even think about how painful just the head is, however, Makoto thrusts all the way in, making Haru scream. “Ow! Makoto why would you—“

“Oh my god—oh my god Haru I’m so sorry I’ll pull out I’ll—“

“Ow—fuck don’t move,” Haru yells. “Don’t fucking move this is painful enough as it is,” Haru mutters. “You were supposed to go in slowly, not just ram your entire fucking cock inside me!” Haru yells, trying not to make the pain any worse by shaking with the tears that are threatening to form.

“Haru I wasn’t even thinking I couldn’t think it just—it felt—I am so sorry I completely understand if you want to never do this again,” Makoto says. “If you want me to leave and never talk to you again, anything, I’m so sorry,” Makoto says, tears forming in his eyes. Haru can feel him softening inside him.

“You can move,” Haru says.

“What? No—“ Makoto argues.

“Makoto you’re going soft, you can move, it’s okay,” Haru says. “I was the one who wanted to do this, you had no clue it would feel like this on you, it’s okay.”

“Haru, I can’t, if it’s stopped hurting then at least let me pull out—“

“No!” Haru yells. “My first time is not fucking ending in you crying and pulling out and neither of us coming it’s just not. You’re going to start moving, slowly, and I’m going to take it until it feels okay.”

“Okay,” Makoto says quietly, slowly, so slowly, pulling out, stopping when Haru clenches his eyes shut in pain. “Haru, you’re in pain, I can’t—“

“Move, Makoto,” Haru orders.

“Can I at least kiss you?” Makoto says. Haru nods, and so Makoto leans forward, making Haru tense with the added pressure, as if Makoto could get any deeper, and tries to reciprocate the kiss whilst Makoto thrusts gently into Haru.

Makoto thinks of something that make Haru blush very hard the last time he did it, and he hopes it’s because he liked it because he needs to do something right now. Makoto breaks the kiss to peck at the corner of Haru’s mouth. He then leads his kisses down Haru’s neck. Haru gasps and Makoto can feel him clench around Makoto when he places that first kiss to Haru’s neck, just under his jaw. He kisses harder as he thrusts in, one hand gripping Haru’s waist, the other cupping the back of Haru’s neck, forcing his neck to be exposed to the taller teen.

Between the ravishing of Haru’s neck, and Makoto’s gentle but powerful thrusts upwards against what must be Haru’s prostate, Makoto feels his boyfriend return to the horny mess he was before Makoto had made his mistake.

“Is this a good pace?” Makoto whispers into Haru’s ear. Haru shudders in pleasure.

“Quicker, and harder would be okay,” Haru replies, his voice breathy in a way Makoto has never heard before. Makoto doesn’t know how much quicker and harder Haru wants, however, and so he only quickens and hardens his pace a little, adding a bit more until he hears Haru moan with pleasure.

“Good?” Makoto asks. Haru nods. “Does it still hurt?” Haru shakes his head. “Can I try something?” Haru nods again, Makoto smiles, it seems Haru has forgiven him. He hopes that what he does next is okay. He removes his hands from Haru’s waist and head, instead bringing them up to Haru’s hands, holding them and pinning him down to the mattress. Whilst doing that he starts kissing Haru passionately again, thrusting quicker and harder until Makoto is at a pace that they both can enjoy.

Haru’s cock is trapped between them, and the friction is getting to be too much for him. “Makoto I’m going to—“ Makoto increases his thrusts until all they can hear is Haru’s broken moans, Makoto making sure his stomach is grinding hard against Haru’s cock until he starts to feel warm spurts coming out.

Makoto focuses on Haru’s orgasm so intensely that he doesn’t even realize he’s coming until his vision goes white and he thrusts so hard into Haru that he can vaguely hear his lover wince with overstimulation. He can’t stop, though, his mind is blank aside from the blinding pleasure coursing through his body. Eventually he comes to, and sees Haru’s wide eyes looking up at him.

“Shit, Haru, are you okay?” Makoto asks, pulling out too quickly from Haru.

“Ow! Fuck, Makoto,” Haru says, annoyed. “Be a little gentle, maybe?”

“Sorry,” Makoto apologizes again. “I didn’t know it hurt to have it removed quickly.”

“Well it does. It also hurts when you’ve already come and your boyfriend thrusts into you with no abandon.”

Makoto looks down to the ground. “I’m so sorry, Haru.”

“It’s okay,” Haru says.

“No, it’s not!” Makoto insists. “Twice I lost control completely, and hurt you in the process.”

“It’s okay we’ll get better at it with practice.”

“You actually want to do that again”?” Makoto asks.

“Well, yeah,” Haru says. “It was painful and messy, I definitely need a bath, but…it was hot. Feeling you inside me, knowing you were so turned on just because you were inside me. Not to mention everything you were doing to get me off. It was hot, and I liked it, all in all.”

“I love you so much,” Makoto sighs. “I promise I’m going to do so much research on this, internet history be damned, and the next time we do it it’s going to be perfect and you won’t feel anything but pleasure.”

“Makoto, it’s okay,” Haru insists. “It was our first time, it’s okay for it to have not been perfect. It’ll take a while to get to perfection, okay?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Makoto asks.

“I’m sore, but it’s okay. I’m in love and I’m basking in the afterglow of my first time with the love of my life, okay? Let me bask.”

“Bask away, my love,” Makoto says softly. “We’ll bathe later, right now I’m enforcing mandatory cuddles.”

Haru squirms. “Ew, Makoto, you’re going to get semen all over us!”

“It’s already all over us,” Makoto laughs, carefree. “We already have to bathe and do laundry, let’s just cuddle for a while, okay?”

Haru pauses, and then nods, nuzzling into his boyfriend’s warm arms.

In that moment, Haru felt pure bliss, despite everything else that had happened. He wouldn’t have had it any other way.


End file.
